On Privilege

When my friends were really angry
Because I would not cede them control
Over my own limbs & torso
And buttocks planted in the seat behind the throne
Of the drum kit
For to be the Player-Slave they wanted me driven
As the driven snowballs rolling down a hill
Tumbling into a further & furthering mass
In this crisp winter of ere foul content!
For to be the tool and conveyor to their desire
Onward, onward toward wealth, riches, and fame!
They went on vicious tirades.
When they found that they wouldd not get their way
At being able to me control
To the extent they wanted.
They threatened from a distance
From the pews of their internet profile aloofness, saying
”All you will amount to is a middle manager!
If you give up this dream of musicianship
To go elsewhere, and not
To play with us and ONLY us
Then the best you will get other than this
Is a wide-and-widening-assed sinecure
In an office tower
Where your passing down orders
To inferior servannts
Who were & always have been
By their very nature
Above you
This is the heartwrack reversal
That spins you into the dustiest dustiness of dust!!
And even further into that
Into the abyssiest abyssy abyss, Daystarrrrrr!”
I had one friend
Who liked to take a guy down a peg
When he thought
His interlopers’ esteemed self was propped up too mightily
More mighty than Reality should merit to hold up!
He was a gentleman crafty
I would put upon this man’s craftiness much respect
However hurtful it was at the time
To be on the receiving end of it.
Albeit he did not find that gracile graciness
To pass along respect in kind to me
When we were friends.
I showed him my mastership on the kit
He told me
”You have been playing THIS long
And you have ONLY got this far
In your great & haughty abilities?
If we traded places, Daystar,
I would tell everybody
I had been knocking the skins for
One or two years
That way it looks like my greatness
Was picked up fast, without effort, facile
Smooth as scooped ice cream
Off a metal cutting board
At a luxury ice cream resort of such
In short duration of time.
It is more impressive this way.
It is more impressive this way,
When it is easy for you
When you can learn it fast
But for ten years already drilling
And
You are only THIS far?? HA!
HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!”
[He did not say it this way, with these exact words
But I’m playing it up for effect
As any dramatist should do!]
Then, after this buddy pre-exile
After these people
Who said I could be famous with them
In a famous band
IF they got to be the most in charge
Of my bodily autonomy
Along with its mastership of mastery
When I denied the want of this tradeoff
Of their having creative control
Of band direction
In exchange for the money/woman I want
While I had minimal input
Into musical, artistic design
Or none at all
After I receded their company
And sought out greener pastures
In hopes of something better
All but one disappeared!
I cannot find any of them online!
One guy, this guy I have written about above
I do have access to his social media profile
He has three boys of his own progeny now
As a high school English teacher by profession
He has a few, a sparse amount, nice pictures of him together
With his kids
Along with his fat old bag lady wife
Yet, the rest of them?
The other guys in my musical outfit?
I have no idea where they are
Neither do I want to know!
So vicious & cutting was there attack when my band disbanded
Because I wanted more power than they would allow
That I would prefer no contact indefinitely!
Yet
You will find in the suburbs
Or in my heydey you could
During my two or three years
Of good memories
Before a long, long, long, long, long NOTHING!
You could find this type of guy
Who, when you proclaimed your genius to them,
When you showed them how you were a genius
They would say,
”HA! Anybody could do that!
If I had the time to practice
As much as you do, Daystar,
Then I could also be in your place!
You got what you have in skill from…
PRIVILEGE!
HA!
Your father’s rich!
You are gliding by, succeeding, owning us and others
Because of your…
FATHER!
Because your dad permits you to sleep and eat in his house
While you grow your skills obsessively!
I could be just as great as you, Daystar, if…
I had the Time!”
”But!”
He would say,
”But Sir!
If you would allow…
I don’t have the Time, like your dad permits you, Daystar!
My parents want me to get a job, and support myself
My parents will not permit me to realize my artistic dream
While dwelling in the comfort of a quiet neighborhood
In the sleepy, dreary, ennui-ridden squalor of the
Suburban USA!
NO, Mr. Daystar, sir, you are just…
LUCKY!
That’s all!
There is no real talent behind your work,
there is no genius!
it all comes from your…
FATHER!”
Yet, I would say to them now
At thirty eight years old
Having written around eight million words
In various journals and online forums and such
Having read at least four hundred books!
Since I learned how to read
HARD BOOKS TOO!
I would say to them now…
I turned not into a manager, but a writer, dear sirs
And,
Yes.
You are exactly right.